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Hagbard Celine

Captain Hagbard Celine is a fictional character from the Illuminatus trilogy of books by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, named after the legendary Viking hero Hagbard who died for love.

A discordian, anarchist and modern-day Leonardo da Vinci, he fights the Illuminati from a golden submarine, the Leif Ericson, designed and built by himself, which, despite its size (the equivalent of five city blocks long) has so far remained undetected.

He has a Norwegian mother and an Italian father. He speaks Norwegian, Italian, English, German, Latin and Greek. He graduated Harvard with the somewhat strange double major of contract law and naval engineering.

He uses his computer (again designed by himself, and called FUCKUP) to, among other things, calculate the chances of World War III starting, which it does by throwing virtual I Ching sticks.

His manifesto is called "Never Whistle While You're Pissing" and in it you can find his Definitions and Distinctions